Saturday, October 29, 2005

This can't be happening...

Sylvester Stallone has announced that Rambo IV is in pre-production. The last movie in the series (Rambo III) was released in 1988, when he was a young man of 42. Jesus Christ.

I don't know about you, but I can't wait to see Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot Again! If a movie was ever ripe for a sequel, it's that one.

Damage Control Inc.

Heads were exploding all around at Fox News with the indictment of I. Lewis (Scooter) Libby yesterday.

Newt Gingrich: Joe Wilson is a liar!
Hey Newt, you were banished to the land of the irrelevant back in 1999.

Ann Coulter: Valerie Plame is a cunt!
Ann, have the makeup guy at Fox do a better job on your Adam's Apple, kay?

Sean Hannity: What about Clinton! What about Clinton!
Term limits, douchebag. If there weren't any, even Diebold couldn't secure W's victory against Bill. Sorry, dude, I know that hurts.

Dick Morris: This administration would be lost without Karl Rove.
Yeah, it would. And that's what makes this whole situation so sad.

Michelle Malkin: Fitzgerald's parents immigrated to America illegally!
I think yours did too, Michelle. Your whiney, GOP shill act is payment for their green cards.

Bill O'Reilly: Both Delay and Libby are innocent until proven guilty. If they enter the "no-spin zone", they will both get to tell their sides and because I have the greatest show in the history of cable news, if they present themselves well, they will be aquitted. You heard it here, folks.
Someone needs to tell Loofa boy to go Peabody himself.

You get the idea. We went from "illicit blow jobs" to "print our wartime propaganda or face the wrath of Rove". America is not fooled, even with all of the above spinning like Joe Lieberman's dreidel.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Another Great Moment In White Trash History!

MEDFORD, Oregon (AP) -- A woman bought a winning lottery ticket worth $1 million with a stolen credit card and could wind up with nothing if convicted, police said.

These tickets cost a dollar! A DOLLAR! She couldn't have found (or stole) a fucking one dollar bill to buy a goddamn lottery ticket?

Anyway, it turns out she has been in trouble in the past, due to a meth habit. Police were still trying to track down the first installment payment she received for $33,500, which did not turn up after a search of her house. Hint: If she's been awake non-stop since she claimed the prize...
People, You Don't Need To Give Us All Of Your Money Today....

Florida Governor Jeb Bush urged people to not hoard gasoline in the wake of Hurricane Wilma, Rita, Katrina, Alpha, Beta, and Delta House (the party hurricane).

There is only a "temporary distribution problem", according to Little Bush. You would think that with record profits and the second highest prices on record, there would be no distribution problems! Where the fuck is all of this money going, and can we send it directly to the Bush Cartel and eliminate the middleman?
You know Republicans are in trouble when...

Ann Coulter, the official GOP dominatrix, has written two op-ed pieces this week. Well, actually 1.4 pieces, as they are remarkably similar in lack of content and early high school writing style.

Click here and here, if you dare.

The funniest part, at least to me, is how she is convinced that the liberals are happy about Harriet Miers going back to the White House to work under W's desk. She suffers the same delusional behavior as Sean Hannity, where everything going on now is Clinton's fault.

New rule: If you own books written by Coulter, Hannity, Dobson, and O'Reilly you are not allowed to vote. Sorry, if your bookcase contains these four "authors", you do not have the best interests of America at heart. Stay home on election day.

Thursday, October 27, 2005

OK, now that prices are falling....

Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist has called for hearings into the high price of oil. Here's the best part:

"If there are those who abuse the free enterprise system to advantage themselves and their businesses at the expense of all Americans, they ought to be exposed, and they ought to be ashamed," Frist said in a statement.

Hey asshole, does your statement apply to insider trading?

This is what gets me all pissed off. Back in 1998-99, the Republicans were so full of righteous indignation over the Clinton scandals. Not a peep now, and that includes this. Frist is trying to divert unwanted attention over a shady stock deal, and needs "little guy" points for his re-election bid. People need to see this for what it is: a fucking smokescreen.

Speaking of smokescreen:

Miers Nomination Comes To Screeching Halt

Click above to read all about it.

I have made peace with my inner cynic; I even enjoy his company, on occasion. This, friends, was another smokescreen. According to my inner cynic:

-Bush loves to appoint friends, qualified or not.
-Bush knew that everyone, including HIS WACKO NUTJOB BASE, would be less than thrilled with this pick.
-Bush needed a distraction, what with the indictments coming up and God's little remodeling job on Florida and the Gulf Coast.
-Bush knew that Miers could provide that distraction, because there is sheetrock lying around Washington that is more qualified to sit on the Supreme Court.
-Bush cuts Miers loose, since she served her purpose, so now....
-Bush can nominate someone who has given Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, and Pat Robertson each a reach around (or vise versa).
-If the Dems criticize the anointed pick of the Shiite Christians, the righties will scream "obstruction" and "let the president do his job!"

I could be wrong, but you have to admit, it's beautiful and fucking brilliant! And it's all Karl Rove. If Rove goes to prison, Bush will be in the Oval Office, curled up in the fetal position, sucking his thumb and pissing himself.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Cease And Desist...Or I'll Ask You Again To Cease And Desist!

The White House, because there is a real lack of issues troubling the country right now, has asked "The Onion" satirical news website to stop using the Presidential Seal in their parodies of the administration.

This is really stupid. No one has to write jokes anymore! This presidency is a parody of a presidency! Can we make Bush stop using the seal? That would make so much more sense!

Oh, and no one got sand in their vagina over the parodies of the Clinton White House. The GOP hacks and spinmeisters would be funny if they weren't suffering from category 5 mental illness.
The Priests Are Just Eliminating Competition...

A Roman Catholic high school in Newark, N.J. has ordered its students to remove their online diaries from the Internet, citing a threat from cyberpredators.

No word yet if the priests have condemned the special oral "communion".

A priest citing threats from "cyberpredators" is kind of like Courtney Love speaking at an elementary school D.A.R.E. function.
Rosa Parks 1913-2005

I'm totally convinced that about 95% of history is a complete accident. The other 5% is the most powerful; it is manipulated by the 1% in charge that control everything. (I'm done with percentages, at least with this post)

The 95% (sorry) is what truly fascinates me, though. It gives me hope for the future, that any one of us, at the right place at the right time, if the planets align just right, can truly make a difference.

Rosa Parks was tired and just wanted to get home on that historic day back in 1955. When she was asked to give up her seat, she refused. She wasn't looking for a fight, or a protest. She just wanted what everyone else wanted: respect and a seat on a damn bus!

Of course, it was the start of something great, bigger than her, bigger than Dr. King, bigger than any one person. In ten years, a woman refusing to surrender her seat becomes a quarter of a million people marching on our nation's capital. To me, that's awesome. The best part of life is that you never know, you may be called next.


p.s.: Ever wonder how our friends at Fox News would have handled Rosa Parks and the civil rights movement? Well, wonder no more!
It's All In The Eyes...

Michelle Malkin is at it again! Is she losing her mind over the looming indictments of Rove and Libby, the future court appearances of Tom Delay, or W's popularity going down like a teenage Christian girl in an "abstinence education" class? Fuck no!

Someone has altered Condi's pic to make her look like some sort of Voodoo princess! Oh, the outrage!

I'm going to open up my Photoshop program and try to turn Malkin into a white woman. Actually, that would probably get my name into her blogring. Crazy bitch.

Let's Go Cubs!

Thankfully, it only took 4 games.

The ChiSox are world champs, sweeping the Astros, who were easily the worst team to ever reach the World Series.

Now, we need the Cubs and Indians to play against each other next year, and we can end all the curses and get on with our pathetic little lives.

Another Bush Blames Himself...

Jeb Bush wants the blame for the delays in supply distribution following Hurricane Wilma. It was similar to what W did after Katrina.

And it's easy to do when you don't have to worry about winning elections! These guys are both lame ducks, and even if they weren't, they would still get enough "votes"!

No Cancer and Two Large Pizzas With Everything!

THC, the active ingredient in Marijuana, may retard (HA!) the growth of cancerous cells in the lungs.

Despite this report and other evidence, the federal government still feels that weed has no medicinal value.

No less that eight university studies on the potential medical benefits of marijuana constitutes no evidence? (Insert your own WMD, Iraq war joke here.)

Saturday, October 22, 2005

When charged with auto theft, it's best to go to court in a stolen car

Hey, all I know, being a big dumb liberal douchebag, is that Tom DeLay was indicted for some shady campaign contribution 3 card monty shell game involving PAC money and Texas state politicians.

So, he arrived safe, sound and smiling at court after a corporate flight provided by R.J. Reynolds, one of his favorite campaign contributors.

Oh, and he stayed "on message" accusing everyone involved of being on a political which hunt.

Tom, dude, to drum up a little more credibility, fly coach for once in your greasy, sleazy, post bug killing existence. How fucking dumb IS this guy?
My college is worse than your college!

It's just so much fun watch a couple of righty assholes get into an "I'm not an elitist, you're an elitist" pissing contest.

Now that the "liberal-media" myth has been discredited, maybe America will notice who the true elitists are. (Hint: It's not the progressives...)
Well, I'll be standing here anyway....

An activist in Atlanta paid 14 homeless people to hold signs against illegal immigration in front of the state capitol.

Finally, something that makes sense! If we are not going to let the illegals work (and they all work very hard at jobs that no one else wants), then they will be a viable threat to all of the homeless people, standing around, drinking and doing nothing all day.

And, in case you were wondering, the homeless people were against illegal immigration. It's good that they weren't in it for the money.

Friday, October 21, 2005

Become a Subscriber!

I spend countless hours trolling cyberspace for the absurd (any celebrity news), the stupid (most political news), and the fucking scary (James Dobson, Bill O'Reilly, Tom DeLay, the Bush Administration, yada yada).

So far, there is really only one thing that pisses me off to the point of wanting to grab the monitor in front of me are hurl it off the nearest freeway overpass (once traffic clears, of course).

That one thing is registering to receive online news.

There has got to be a way to combat this menace. The way I see it, is that newspapers are losing revenue, mostly to online news sources. So, you have to register to receive their online articles, giving them your name, address, email, etc. That way, they recoup some of the lost revenue through targeted email ad campaigns.

Don't do it, people. You can find everything you need with Google, Yahoo! and MSN. Ad controlled media doesn't provide the full picture anyway. They are beholden to their ad revenues, which dictate both slant and content. When you register, you just provide these pricks with another revenue outlet.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Because guns don't kill people, lawyers do

Even with Tom Delay getting a used-car salesman head shot at a Houston police station, this bill to protect the defenseless gun lobby against the escalating threat of the American trial lawyer passed easily today. President Bush will be signing the bill into law as soon as it hits his desk. Wayne LaPierre will be there providing the President a much deserved reach around.

Where are all the "strict constructionists" when it comes to the goddamned 2nd amendment? Probably foraging through dumpsters at Planned Parenthood offices, crying over the fact that the fetuses won't grow up and die in a war.
Welcome home boys & girls

Will we help the Vets from wars in Iraq & Afghanistan (and Iran, and Syria, and North Korea...) or abandon them like the Vietnam Vets? There is always money to fight wars, but never enough to help repair the physical and mental wounds. Especially when there are tax cuts to pay for!
More Insight Into Malkin's Dementia

According to Malkin, all news is staged, or W's meeting with troops in Iraq wasn't. It's difficult to read and more than a little stupid, but I linked to it anyway.

Have fun and remember, she "got the goods" on Franken yet didn't see (or ignored) the video that the rest of us saw.
Let's Get Malkin A Pulitzer!

Self-hating Filipino Michelle Malkin has devoted considerable time and effort in attempting to bring Al Franken and Air America Radio down. And truthfully, it is great work! Supporting documents, witness accounts, you name it! Which, at least to a nobody like me, begs a few minor questions:

-Any research of the 2000 or 2004 elections and possible fraud?
-WMD "Hide and Seek" about the which lead to a war with 2,000 dead (so far)?
-A neat little game of "follow the money" with Tom DeLay and Jack Abramoff?
-"Connect the Dots" with Valerie Plame, Joseph Wilson, Scooter Libby, Karl Rove, and Dick Cheney?
-How do deep pocket corporate contributors get so many goddamn no-bid contracts?
-Michael Brown being exposed as an idiot before he had to do his job?

I could go on. Franken was involved in some shady financing, which, thanks to Michelle's hard work, will be rectified. And thanks to her, the handful of people involved in a deal involving less than a million dollars will be OK! To research any of the above, which would require real work and actually benefit the entire country, is just too much to ask of any GOP shill.
Book Alert!

Al Franken's "The Truth" will be arriving at a big-box corporate behemoth bookstore near you on Tuesday 10/25!

Find an indie bookstore and reserve your copy today. Don't give what little hard-earned money you have left after filling up your gas tank to Satan's minions (Waldenbooks, Borders, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, etc.)
Fine-tuning the quote machine!

Santorum (san-TOR-um) n. - 1. The junior senator from the state of Pennsylvania. Santorum, Rick. 2. The frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the by-product of anal sex.

Selected quotes from Definition #1 (he provides the quotes, I provide the snide commentary):

"I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts."
I don't have a problem with evangelicals, either. Until they speak or pass bad legislation.

"Isn't that the ultimate homeland security, standing up and defending marriage?"
No asshole, the ultimate homeland security would involve airplanes not flying into skyscrapers.

"It is our responsibility to make the changes necessary to Social Security now, while we have the chance to make public policy for the public good."
You GOP assholes control the entire government. We are now 8 trillion in debt. A little fiscal restraint and responsibility will save Social Security. Irresponsible tax breaks for the wealthiest 1% won't.

"It's essential for individuals born before 1950 to understand that they will experience no change in their benefits as a result of reform."
It's even more essential for individuals born after 1970 to understand that they should plan on working until they die, thanks to our runaway national debt.

"My feeling is, well, if it's my money, I have a right to judge."
Spoken like a true fundie asshole. We need more of you to just admit that he who has the gold, rules!

"The fact that so many are troubled still with the unlimited right of abortion is a powerful statement as to where this country stands on abortion."
Dude, I have trouble with unlimited abortion rights! It should exist and be safe, legal and rare! You fuckers are trying to take rape and incest out of the equation! Most of America stands where I do, you heartless fucking prick.

"The idea is that the state doesn't have rights to limit individuals' wants and passions. I disagree with that. I think we absolutely have rights because there are consequences to letting people live out whatever wants or passions they desire."
We don't have the right to hurt other people, but life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness is right in the Constitution, which I'm guessing your copy is tucked away in your unopened Bible, because you don't read that either!

"Thirty-two years after the legalization of abortion by the Supreme Court decision Roe v. Wade, the majority of Americans consider themselves pro-life."
The majority of Americans want abortion available for rape, incest, and to save the life of the mother. I am in that majority. A very small minority want what you want, which is for rape victims and cousin-lovers to carry their babies to term. Children who will have serious issues growing up, either physically or mentally. Children which, thanks to health and education budget cuts demanded by people like you, don't have a fucking prayer.

"[The] right to privacy…doesn't exist in my opinion in the United States Constitution."
In your opinion. Thank God for 200 plus years of legal precedent and that whole pesky "life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness" thing. Look at it this way, Rick: The right to privacy is implied and protected by precedent. Kind of like automatic weapons have "implied" protection under the 2nd amendment, even though Washington's boys crossing the Delaware had muzzle loaders when we kicked England's ass.

“In every society, the definition of marriage has not ever to my knowledge included homosexuality. That's not to pick on homosexuality. It's not, you know, man on child, man on dog, or whatever the case may be. It is one thing. And when you destroy that you have a dramatic impact on the quality.”
What is it with James Dobson, Bill O'Reilly and Rick Santorum? If gays get married, then people will fuck dogs? This is the first thing these people bring up! Here's the deal: If a dude wants to fuck a dog, I really don't think one particular law or another is going to stop him. Two PEOPLE, regardless of gender, in a relationship, hurts no one. Time to get over it.
Another marketing WTF!

ST. LOUIS - Anheuser-Busch Cos. Inc. said it will quit marketing a drinking game called "Bud Pong" after discovering that some people were imbibing beer during the game instead of water, as directions specified.

See, the fine folks that make Budweiser shouldn't be held responsible for this! They said Bud Pong, not "Bud Bong"! They changed the "b" to a "p", so you would know not to use beer with this game!

Read the goddamn instructions!
Michael Jackson Called for Jury Service

"It's just one of those ironies of life that he'd be called as a juror," said Laurie Levenson, a professor at Loyola School of Law who monitored Jackson's trial.

When Jackson found out that jurors don't receive multiple sick days, a 20 person entourage and a red carpet provided by the E! television network, he decided to opt out.

Actually, I guess he lives in Bahrain now. Do they allow pedophilia there? It's in the Middle East; he's gonna melt in that heat!

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

Conservatives rally (almost) around Meirs nomination

"She's a born-again Christian, owns a handgun, and headed the Texas Bar Association. I have a hard time understanding why this is a bad thing," says Ed Naile, chairman of the Coalition of New Hampshire Taxpayers.

You live in New Hampshire, Ed! Go hang out with handgun-toting Texan born again Christians on a Saturday night after a few beers and tequila shots, and then you'll understand.

The lefties may get this nomination through, fearing they could get someone much, much worse. The righties are worried about another David Souter. I hope John Paul Stevens lives to be 120.
Rumor: Cheney to Resign; Rice as V.P.

NewsMax is a righty shitfest, but this is interesting....when things go badly (and they can't get much worse for W right now) make a little positive history! A black woman veep, and a successor to run against a liberal white woman in 2008!

This just in....the polls have closed....we're calling Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia, Louisiana and Texas for.....Ralph Nader! Amazing, we are very close to electing a third party candidate!

(Sounds of redneck heads exploding in the background)
The Jon Stewart Dilemma

Just this week (and it's only Wednesday) Bill O'Reilly and Louis Freeh.

Previous guests have included Tom Brokaw, Bob Dole, Jim Hightower, Dennis Miller, Jonah Goldberg, John Edwards, Joe Scarborough, Al Franken, John Gibson, you get the idea.

My fear is that we will one day lose him.

He has the knowledge and charisma to achieve "serious" journalism status. We don't need anymore of those!!! The greatest thing to happen in news and commentary was Craig Kilborn leaving The Daily Show to make room for Stewart. The second greatest thing was Kilborn disappearing altogether.
Stephen Colbert: Intentionally Funny, unlike O'Reilly

The Colbert Report has exceeded my expectations! Truthfully, I didn't have high hopes for it because, although he is always hilarious, Colbert's interviewing skills are not on par with Jon Stewart's.

If the first two shows are any indication, this show will be a staple on Comedy Central for years to come. The interviews with Lesley Stahl and Stone Phillips were both awesome.

And to have O'Dildo on the Daily Show after the debut? Fucking brilliant.
Here's what Bill O'Reilly wet his pants over

Click above to read the op-ed piece from Macarena Hernandez of the Dallas Morning News.

Her only mistake was confusing his television piece of shit with his radio piece of shit (his "Mexicans are biological weapons" quote was aired on the Radio Factor). Kind of like confusing a Polk with a Peabody. Sort of. Enjoy!
Listen up, bitches! I'm the only one that can do that!

Click above for a great read, people. Loofa boy getting indignant with a reporter for doing to him what he does to everyone else.

He's talking retirement. We aren't that lucky, this dick will be around forever.
...And I have three failed marriages because playing with myself is better!

Rush Limbaugh explained why he never has liberal guests on his show. Click here to read all about how he presents the liberal side more honestly than liberals do, so there is no point having them on his prestigious radio program.

The best part is how he actually said, "I know you liberals like [I know] every square centimeter of my naked body, and I'm able to explain what liberals mean when they say things as well as they are."

So, is this part of the reason why W's god complex isn't as scary as it should be?

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Bill O'Reilly's Latest WTF??

On his Friday radio broadcast, O'Dildo claims that maybe Bush was "lethargic" and that lead to his piss poor Hurricane Katrina response.

I feel ya, W. Those five week vacations take a lot out of you. Usually, right in the middle of my five week summer retreat, my wife says something to the effect of, "How 'bout you get off your dead ass and get a job?"

It really sucks being us, doesn't it?

Hannity Needs New Bong Water

Sean Hannity, spinning faster than a coked-up roulette table pit boss, says that Iraq may turn out to be Bush's greatest accomplishment.

I want democracy to succeed everywhere, especially in Iraq, with the body count approaching 2,000. Hey, maybe the Saudis will try it.....who the fuck am I kidding?

As far as Bush accomplishing something, well.....does one good thing offset 10 or 12 really, really bad things? (Election "tweaking", Rove push-polling, giving the top 1% a third of our nations wealth, a national debt so large that the debt Reagan left us could fit into it TWICE, you get the idea) This assuming that, eventually, Iraq will resemble a functioning democracy and that we will get to bring the troops home, it will be interesting to see how it plays out.

Monday, October 17, 2005

Because, Let's Face It: Rocky VI Just Sounds Stupid

Click above to read all about the fifth sequel we have waited almost 16 years for.

The film will be titled "Rocky Balboa". More from Stallone:

"'Rocky Balboa' is about everybody who feels they want to participate in the race of life, rather than be a bystander," Stallone said in a statement. "You're never too old to climb a mountain, if that's your desire."

Stallone turns 60 next July, so it appears that the race of life and the mountain he wants to climb are simple: He wants to make everyone forget that the original movie in this series actually won an Oscar.

Sunday, October 16, 2005

The Complete Idiot's Guide For Creating a Riot

In Toledo, Ohio on Saturday, the American Nazi Party lead a march through a predominately black neighborhood in a protest against "black crime". Click here and above for details.

They needed some "black crime" to protest, so they created some! How clever! They may have even been invited by a resident racist.

There is good news, though. Between the Nazis and the Phelps Family, Karl Rove and Ralph Reed will have more than enough people to conduct the critical push polls during the 2008 Republican primaries.
Ricky Martin Says Fame Left Him Bored

NEW YORK - Ricky Martin, whose hits include "Livin' La Vida Loca," says the fame and fortune he experienced in the late '90s left him feeling bored and embittered.

"There was a moment (in 2002) when I was onstage and I was just so angry," Martin says in the Oct. 24 issue of People magazine.

"I thought, 'Something is wrong. I have the applause, I have a great band behind me, I live comfortably. ... I was starting to become a victim of fame. Everything was too serious and I wasn't enjoying it."

Don't worry Ricky, you're in the 14th minute. After that, you can fight boredom by shooting heroin and trolling for strange schlong in an alley somewhere.
Meet John Q. Conservative!

The Damn Fine Americans at Newshounds (they watch Fox so you don't vomit on your coffee table) have a site that you should immediately bookmark. But bookmark my site first, because I am so lost without you....Click here to read their hate mail!

After reading these emails, several thoughts entered my melon:

1. W was truly elected by his peers.
2. All email programs, even the free ones, come with spellcheck.
3. I really want to assume that they are not this stupid, maybe they are just doing other things while writing this garbage.

-Cleaning firearms?
-Gazing lustfully at their cousin/sister/mother?
-Editing their bibles, removing all that senseless drivel about "Jesus helping people"?

I don't know. I was actually going to publish an example of the hate mail here, but MY spellcheck warped into hyperdrive and locked up the computer.
Oh Cracker Please!

That last post was a joke (insert Al Franken defense here). I believe that Secretary Rice has done an OK job and is the closest thing to a positive in this administration.

The real racism is when she attempts to run for higher office (maybe even President) and the reich-wing fundies shoot her down, a la John McCain. Of course, the right will have to use different tactics on Rice, as her children WOULD be at least part black. I'm sure that Ralph Reed and Karl Rove can figure out something to ruin her chances.
Rice: Criticism of Miers Is Unfounded

WASHINGTON - Criticism of Harriet Miers as an unqualified crony of the president is unfounded, Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice said Sunday, praising the Supreme Court nominee for a "probing intellect" that will make her a great justice.

Secretary Rice then added, "President Bush and Vice President Cheney were worried at first about appointing me to my latest post. Once I assured them that I wouldn't play dominos, drink Hennessey and spit sunflower seeds all over the Oval Office, they were cool. Just because the bitch ain't ever been married don't make her no lesbian, damn!!"

Several people have pointed out that Neil Boortz, the gentleman (?) in the previous post, is not a conservative, but a libertarian. My sincere apologies to all that were offended, especially Mr. Boortz.

A libertarian, according to their website:

Libertarians believe that you have the right to live your life as you wish, without the government interfering -- as long as you don’t violate the rights of others. Politically, this means Libertarians favor rolling back the size and cost of government, and eliminating laws that stifle the economy and control people’s personal choices.

A libertarian, according to my friend Dave: a Republican that is either gay, smokes weed, or owns a nuclear weapon (which has "implied" protection under the Second Amendment).

DRROA regrets the error.

Saturday, October 15, 2005

Finally, A Conservative I Kind Of Respect! I Didn't Say Like, I Said Respect...

Neil Boortz is taking some heat for comments he made on his radio show Friday.

BOORTZ: OK, I've got an insensitive thought, folks. There's a news story out there -- there's a news story out there that rich people got some sort of an email notification of the terrorist threat against the New York subway before poor people did. OK? They're making a big deal out of it. Let me see if I can find it on the Drudge Report here. Let's see. There's a guy strangling a goose. That's a pretty good -- that's a pretty impressive picture. It's something about bird flu. So he's got this goose and he's just wringing its neck. You can -- oh, who tipped off the big shots? OK, now here's the story. And it says, "The Homeland Security Department launched internal probes yesterday into whether its officials tipped off friends and relatives to a possible subway terror plot days before average New Yorkers were alerted." So the real gripe here is that it seems that some wealthy people got notified of the terror plot before the great unwashed, before the others. Now, the Daily News in New York has a headline: "Rich got terror tip." Rich got terror tip. OK, let's get logical about this, folks. Let's play logic with this. This is as it should be. OK? If we are faced with disaster in this country -- let me ask you this, OK? You just be logical. Get all of the emotion out of this. Get all of the emotion out of this. But if we are faced with a disaster in this country, which group do we want to save? The rich or the poor? Now, if you have time, save as many people as you can. But if you have to set some priorities, where do you go? The rich or the poor? OK? Who is a drag on society? The rich or the poor? Who provide the jobs out there? The rich or the poor? Who fuels -- you know, which group fuels our economy? Drives industry? The rich or the poor? Now if you -- all of a sudden, somebody walks up to you and says, "Hey, Boortz listener. You're gonna have a -- you have to make a choice. You're going to -- we're gonna move you to another country. And you're just gonna have to make your way in this other country. We have a choice of two countries for you. In this country, people achieve a lot and they are wealthy because of their hard work. In this country, people don't achieve squat. They sit around all the time waiting for somebody else to take care of them. They have children they can't afford. They're uneducated. They can barely read. And the high point of their day is Entertainment Tonight on TV. Which country do you want to live in? The country of the high achievers, or the country of sheep, the country of followers?" You know what you're gonna do. I don't see what the big problem is. I just don't. I mean, if you -- who do I want to save first? The rich. Save the poor first. Then, when everything's over, where are you gonna go for a job? OK, hey, if I get a tin cup, can I sit next to you and sell pencils too?

He then added:

I'm serious about that, folks. You see, that's the kind of thing that's going to end up in news stories: "Neal Boortz said that in times of disaster we should save the rich people first." Well, hell, yes, we should save the rich people first. You know, they're the ones that are responsible for this prosperity. I mean, you go out there and you look at this vast sea of evacuees, OK? You want to get an economy going in some city? Well, who you gonna take back? The people who own businesses? Or the people that sit around waiting to get their minimum wage job, work 'til Friday, get a paycheck and then not show up again until the following Wednesday? Come on. Just put a little logical thought into this, folks.

These quotes are fine, and the reason they are is because Mr. Boortz also said this:

"Religion is all-too-often a refuge for scoundrels."

The majority of the right-wingers in this country feels like Mr. Boortz in statement one, then hide behind the Bibles that they don't ever read. They don't heal the sick. They have abandoned the poor. They believe God created the Universe and everything in it, then destroy the creation and deny rights to the created people that feel differently and act differently than they do. They are capitalists; their book (that once again, they never read) is the second most socialistic piece of literature ever written. In a word, the religious right is neither.

Neil Boortz is a true conservative, and hides nothing. Therefore, he deserves respect that the reich-wing hypocrisy will never get from a liberal like me. I don't agree with him; but I love the honesty.
Evangelicals: Miers' a "so-so" snake handler, only spoke in tongues once

The fundies really don't like this woman. Probably because she works outside of the home and has never married. Wait a second....She's a flannel shirt and Indigo Girls CD away from being a lesbian!

Here's more from Janet LaRue, chief counsel for Concerned Women for America.

"Jimmy Carter claims to be an Evangelical," she says, "and I wouldn't want to have him on the Supreme Court.

That's cool, Janet. Building homes for poor people and working for world peace is something Jesus would do.
Do me a favor....

To most who visit me here, my heartfelt thanks.

To the other 95% of you that pretend to read my blog, then invite me to visit their sites devoted to penis enlargement/inter-species dating/how to make money jerking off, don't waste your time. Register to vote and get involved.

It's about more than money, folks.
Nail Technician and Osama Still At Large

BAGHDAD (Reuters) - U.S. forces in Iraq said on Saturday that they were holding a man suspected of acting as a barber to senior al Qaeda militants and helping them change their appearance to evade capture.

What will the terrorist metrosexuals do now??
Stupid shit = bad government

Woman With $1.16 Tax Bill Faces $4K Fine

She didn't pay in 2003, now, with taxes and interest, she can't pay at all. I believe that good government can help improve the lives of its citizens. I also believe that bad governments, like this one in Ohio, give the Neo-Con fascists a nice reload of ammo to fire more salvos at ALL governments, including the good ones.

Time for some common sense, people.
They need bug killers in prison, don't they?

For a barrel of fun, check out, truly a web site for America!

Be sure to read the "Facts Behind Ronnie Earle's Baseless Indictment". In a sight packed with just so much "What you need to know to be a Great American" information, I found this to be just the best part! For those of you who just don't have the stomach for it, I skimmed the best parts for you:

1. "[I]t is inappropriate for a prosecutor to discuss a case under investigation in a political setting, or to single out a potential target of that probe for criticism. The fact that Earle refuses to recognize his blunder and would do it again calls into question whether he has the necessary impartiality and judgment to conduct the investigation that to a great extent will determine whether Texas election campaigns will be financed and perhaps determined by corporations or by individuals."

OK, OK, that doesn't look good for D.A. Earle....

2. The Travis County, Texas, prosecutor investigating Mr. DeLay has a history of using his office for partisan ends.

That's no good, either.....

3. On Earle's methods, the Dallas Morning News wrote "the impression of partisan unfairness has certainly been reinforced by the leaks and public comment about Hutchison's case from the District Attorney's office throughout the summer. That the Grand Jury investigation has been conducted with so much fanfare such as the tip-offs to the new media when key records were seized from the former treasurer's office has added a darker tone to the cloudy proceedings."

Oh my God.....

4. "Ronnie Earle, the Texas prosecutor who has indicted associates of House Majority Leader Tom DeLay in an ongoing campaign-finance investigation, dropped felony charges against several corporations indicted in the probe in return for the corporations' agreement to make five- and six-figure contributions to one of Earle's pet causes."

Damn! Snap! Now I know what Delay is so pissed about! Earle is almost as good at the Tom Delay game as Tom Delay! Money for favors, five and six-figure contributions, quid pro quo, these fuckers are twins!

In Texas, there is no Democrat or Republican. There's just shit bag. And the biggest shit bag gets to be President.

Friday, October 14, 2005

Guess Who Said It!

"The founding fathers didn't write the First Amendment with live sex shows in mind, OK? Everybody understand that? You can easily pervert the Constitution by saying every kind of expression is protected, but again, that would lead to chaos and conflict."

The above quote is from the King of the Loofa, Bill O'Reilly! And he has a point. The founding fathers couldn't predict the future, so we shouldn't "pervert the Constitution", as Bill stated. So, do we "interpret the Constitution" or are we "strict constructionists"? It seems to me that anyone on the bench that interprets the Constitution is labeled an "activist judge".

If the fundies and righties have an issue, then the Constitution is subject to interpretation. If someone that doesn't buy into their entire ideology has an issue, then the Constitution is foolproof and against them. Plus, O'Liely was referring to the First Amendment, which amended the document (hence the name), which, at least to me, means that it can be changed and also that changes occur do to issues of interpretation.

You can't have it both ways.
Saudi King: Terror Is Work of the Devil

Cool, I'm glad we cleared that up. Just one more question, Your Majesty: 15 of the 19 9/11 terrorists were born and raised in Saudi Arabia. Does the devil have his primary residence in your country? Just a summer cottage? A timeshare? Which is it?

Plus, it looked to me like Barbara Walters' primary focus was on women's rights, especially driving. Rights and freedoms are provided by democracies, Barb. We want democracy in Iraq and Afghanistan, not Saudi Arabia! Do some fucking research!

Barbara, sweetie, women in Saudi Arabia will be driving soon. As soon as there are not enough men to drive truckloads of explosives into buildings full of Americans. Just be patient.
Slow News Day. Report: Mary-Kate Olsen Leaving NYU

I only linked to this because it was under Top Stories (WTF?) on Yahoo! News. The first line of the story is, "What would Bob Saget say about this?"

Dear retarded AP entertainment reporter: Bob Saget is her TV dad, not her real dad. Look at it like this: The person that graduated at the top of your J school class has a job as a reporter, and you don't.

Sorry, but someone had to tell you that. Your welcome.

Quick side note: Bob Saget would probably say, "Eat a sandwich, you anorexic fucking troll doll." Fighting the Full House demons inside of him has turned Saget into a stand-up comic that would make Jeffrey Ross blush.
Rove Testifies Again in CIA Leak Probe

Click above to read the latest article. It is as boring and stupid as all of the other articles, I promise. But the good news is the Grand Jury's term expires on the 28th, so we could have something of substance soon. Or not.

Quick side note: Both Rove and Congressman Tom Delay are considering the courthouse monthly parking pass, as it would save time and money.
It's About Goddamn Time!

The premier of The Colbert Report on Comedy Central is Monday the 17th, right after The Daily Show.

It carries on in the satiric tradition of "The Daily Show" (TV's gloriously fake newscast) by serving up a phony version of cable-news punditry such as MSNBC's "Scarborough Country," CNN Headline News' "Nancy Grace," and, of course, Fox News Channel's top-rated "The O'Reilly Factor," whose host, Bill O'Reilly, oversees what he calls "the No-Spin Zone" with messianic bluster that cries out to be mocked.

"These shows are the demon children of the 24-hour cable-news cycle," says Colbert.

That's because their star-driven "reporting" is a cheap and popular time-filler, geared to embellish each host's point of view — and facts be damned, if that's what it takes!

"In order to maintain an untenable position, you have to be actively ignorant," marvels Colbert. "One of our mottoes on the show is, 'Keep your facts — I'm going with the truth.'"

And in the spirit of O'Reilly, the avowed independent thinker, "We work hard not to come down pro-right, or anti-left, but generally to come down pro-you. I'm on YOUR side. It's not about right and left — it's us and them. I'm looking out for America and I'm looking over your shoulder at the same time. Because I've got your back."

Bill O'Dildo is on The Daily Show next week! I wonder if he will comment on this at all. I seriously doubt it; Falafel is somewhat civilized when forced to leave his studio. Just like Limbaugh, almost human when forced out of his element.

Poll: Bush Presidency Judged Unsuccessful

Will we ever learn? Nope! Guess who's contemplating a run in 2008?

He'll probably get the nomination, too! We can only hope......
If it's not a big deal, shut up! Just shut up! Cut off his mike!

In an earlier post, I called Bill Bennett "retarded". And he is. But not more than Sean Hannity.

You've really got to love Bill Bennett. First, it was Margaret Sanger. Now, Louie Farrakhan. He is getting really desperate to make his quotes look better buy bringing up people who have said much worse. What about Hitler? Stalin? Caligula? You can use dead people, Bill! Sanger's been dead for 40 years.

Note to Bill & Sean: This is not about abortion, this is about race & crime, you lying goddamn retards! If it doesn't sink in, we can write it in Braille and shove it up your asses. I'm sure there would be several volunteers willing to do that.

You think Ann Coulter meant it?

Personally, I hope so. Her statement wasn't a full confession, though. She forgot to admit that lying to the American people is OK, too. Happy reading!
Oh no, they're improving homes and helping animals! People might start to think they're human!

More great, great stuff from Tim Wildmon of the American Family Association (AFA).

They represent families. Probably not yours, but other families. Do check out their home page, especially the part about the horrible Christian persecution occurring in India, which is right below their attack on the ACLU, which is an organization that opposes religious persecution by Christians on other religions. See friends, stupid is funny and sad all at once!
Lou Sheldon suggested exorcism is necessary to "release" a person from homosexual lifestyle.

The Rev. Lou Sheldon is the founder of the Traditional Values Coalition (TVC) which is described as a "church lobby". Click above to read the full article.

Here's what really bothers me. People all over the world are born attracted to certain people. A small percentage (about 5 to 10%, depending on who you ask) are wired to be attracted to people of the same sex. That is just the way we, and the way they are. That is how God made all of us, and everything else.

However, no one, anywhere on this planet, is born a certain religion. Christian values, Muslim values, Hindu values, ANY values are instilled in children by the family that they are born into, and by the society that the family is a part of. This can be done through positive methods, or negative methods. Most of the time, it is through fear and negativity. Rev. Lou has not "ungayed" anyone. He has scared them back into the closet. There are gay Muslims too, but you will never find them, for the same reasons. In Muslim countries, you get more than a fancy exorcism when you get caught.

If you have to keep or increase the numbers of your group though fear and misinformation, you have accomplished only cheating the people you recruit out of the existence God wanted for them.

Thursday, October 13, 2005


"Yes sir, Mr. President, we will stay the course and wouldn't dream of leaving until the job is......oh shit, line!"

White House press secretary Scott McClellan said Thursday's event was coordinated with the Defense Department but that the troops were expressing their own thoughts. With satellite feeds, coordination often is needed to overcome technological challenges, such as delays, he said.

He also added that God himself told our commander-in-chief that this event should be scripted.

Don't touch that dial!

You're sitting at home, watching ER. You have waited patiently for the new season to start. At the first commercial break, it happens:

"Coming up at 10....You can't see it....You can't hear it.....But it may be in your home or office right now.....and it could fucking kill you....Stayed tuned for this and sports with Phil McCracken, coming up right after ER."

You freak! You almost spill the contents of your 40 ounce malt liquor onto the floor, and you only have 8 more payments and the trailer is yours! What could it be? Flesh-eating bacteria, anthrax, serial killer, terrorists? Your mind races....How can I enjoy the rest of ER? Should I call my wife/mom/priest??

Finally, after what seems like an eternity, the local news comes on.....And they lead off with a two car accident and a drive by shooting! What the fuck are these people doing?! There is something out there that we can't see or hear! And it could be here RIGHT NOW!!

Another teaser.....five more commercials.....the 2 minute weather forecast before the 7 minute official weather forecast.....and then:

The Andean Foothill Bovine Nutsack Flu virus is coming!! Oh shit, we're doomed!!!

No we're not, retard! Don't watch the local news, ever!! These morons are the B-list journalism school all-star team, and all they will ever accomplish is scare-tactic bullshit reporting that is actually preventing them from getting real media jobs.

It will turn out the the Andean Foothill Bovine Nutsack Flu was real and it was 100% fatal. It killed all 7 people that got it, and they were the 7 people that owned the bovine with the infected scrotum.

Watch The Daily Show, or the Cartoon Network, or even an infomercial. They all have better content written by intelligent people.
This is NOT FUNNY!

Google may need to work a few kinks out of their AdWords program, and truthfully, if you click on the link, this may not come up the same way.

I was reading some articles on, and came across one about some assholes that tossed a 7 week old kitten on a lit barbecue grill. Actually, I caught this on the local news too, since it happened in a suburb not far from where I live.

I urge you to click on the article, and look over the "Ads by Google". When I opened the page, I saw ads for the Kingsford BBQ grill store, the BBQ Zoo, the barbecue Pit, and Churrasco Rotisseries, which bills itself as "Authentic Brazilian rotisseries from America's live fuel experts".

Bratwurst, anyone?? WTF!!!!!

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

You misunderestimate the strategery of our rebuildingness.

So fuck off.

Are You Ready For the New Bankruptcy Law?

On October 17th, the latest in a series of bankruptcy laws take effect in order to prevent financial disaster for banks, credit card companies, mortgage companies, and all of the other businesses that asked our GOP controlled Congress and our President to pass this legislation.

Financial companies will then funnel considerable amounts of the money they recoup back to several GOP PACs, at least one that will be controlled by a soon to be acquitted Tom Delay.

How does this affect you, the individual loser nobody who probably didn't even vote? Well, you can file bankruptcy, but only after doing several tricks and jumping through hoops. After performing, you then can file a Chapter 13 Bankruptcy, where you pay back your debt on a three to five year schedule. If you miss a payment, you might have to refile, which means more money for your lawyer, who, let's face it, needs it more than you.

All Chapter 7 bankruptcies, where you can essentially wipe the slate clean, will be reserved for big businesses and other GOP donors who can afford lawyers and lobbyists, yet can't seem to pay their bills.

Also, the government, with is now almost 8 trillion dollars in debt, requires you to go to credit counseling. The credit counseling service is located on Santa Monica Boulevard, in between the Lindsay Lohan Driving School and the Gary Busey Detox Center.

In a sweet twist of the irony knife, bankruptcy filings are higher in red states, with Utah (the reddest of the red) leading the pack. You voted for em'. Hopefully, you'll get to keep the trailer.
New Orleans Officers Plead Not Guilty

NEW ORLEANS, Louisiana (AP) -- Three police officers pleaded not guilty Monday to battery charges after a weekend confrontation with a man accused of intoxication and with a TV news crew that taped it.

OK, we all know that videotape alone doesn't matter (ask the LAPD or R Kelly), but to assault the people taping it???

Several people didn't get my Larry Flynt and Tony Blankley separated at birth post. One person didn't know who Larry Flynt was, and no one knew who Tony Blankley was.

One of them is a ruthless character assassin bent on publishing only that which will advance his repugnant agenda.

The other publishes a magazine.

Once again, Don't Ride the Rollercoaster On Acid regrets the ambiguity of the earlier post.
The Sexiest Woman Alive!

Paris Hilton, Charlize Theron, now Jessica Biel. Why not Bonnie Bernstein?

She's smart, articulate, very attractive, and you could do her doggie so you could both watch baseball, basketball, hockey, college football, pretty much any sport but NFL football, but she will be on the sidelines reporting, so you could probably GO to the NFL games, for free!

I know I kinda rambled there, but come on! She is the only pick, every year! Where's the justice?

Oh yeah, one more thing fellas: She was a gymnast in college.
OK, we get it, you love kids, now STOP!

An Arkansas couple just welcomed their 16th child into the family today. They were happy to have their first girl in 8 years, and yes, they want more children, if the Lord provides.

The proud papa, Jim Bob Duggar, is considering a run for the U.S. Senate, so money won't be an issue. I just wonder what will wind up costing more, college for each kid, or therapy for each kid.

The Discovery Channel filmed the birth (the kid probably shot out like a cannonball) and will air a show on the family next May.

Quick side note: The only reason I posted this is because I got to print Jim Bob, Arkansas, and 16 kids without making ANYTHING up. Except for the cannonball part.
Bush Helps With Katrina Rebuilding

PASS CHRISTIAN, Mississippi (AP) -- President Bush, focusing on progress since Hurricane Katrina slammed the Gulf Coast, hugged wiggling children at their newly reopened school and hammered nails into a home for a storm victim. Still, everywhere he went, there were signs of the rebuilding's slow pace.

In this hard-hit coastal Mississippi town, Bush celebrated the return to school of 1,100 elementary students. He encouraged the presidential dreams of one boy standing among dozens of classmates in a grassy courtyard. "Someday you may be," Bush said.

He told this kid he can be President? Who is he kidding?

Qualifications for becoming President of the United States of America:

-Connections established through an Ivy League Education
-Two colleges (again Ivy League) need to provide education, one for undergraduate, one for post-graduate.
-At least one "triumph of the human spirit" story (Clinton: asshole father figure, modest upbringing. Bush: Coke and booze, became "born-again").
-A friend who is way too much of a prick to win an election, but is not afraid to get his hands dirty during a campaign (Karl Rove, James Carville, Lee Atwater, etc.)
-More Money
-A friend who is extremely articulate and not afraid to get an ass-whippin' from the media (insert any White House spokesperson here).
-At least one friend who is in the media, to minimize ass-whippins I mentioned in my previous point.
-Find a way to avoid military service, then talk about the importance of a strong military. We have elected people that have actually served, but why put your ass on the line if you don't have to.
-Do things during your campaign that the "common man" can relate to (i.e. riding a horse, boating, playing a saxophone, cutting brush on your ranch).
-Don't go bald.
-Own at least one blue suit.
-Grow to at least six feet one.
-Get more money.

Good luck, kid.
Bill Bennett: Margaret Sanger Said It First!

I'm just about done with this asshole, but just one more quick thought:

If you are defending yourself about a stupid remark that you made, and then bring up stupid remarks made years earlier by someone who was even more stupid, you are illustrating that you made a STUPID REMARK!

I said it before, and I'll say it again: Bennett's remark trotted out stereotypes about blacks and crime, and that can be considered racist. We know he's against abortion, and that liberals aren't. If you are using Margaret Sanger to defend a statement you've made, you're fucked.
"Tongue Tied" - More Fox News Hypocrisy

Truthfully, I love reading this every week. They like to poke fun at minorities, political correctness, and people with no sense of humor and thin skins. Hell, who doesn't? It's a great pastime of mine!

What they don't realize is that in most of the world, white fundamentalist Christians (Fox viewers) are a minority. They could become one in this country, eventually. Will political correctness and special treatment be as funny in cases where they could benefit from it? It will be to me, and to people who think. I can't wait!

At the grocery store today, I saw a Muslim woman in what I can only describe as the "business-casual" burka (whole face showing, even a little neck and hairline) buying some bacon.

If I have said one thing over the years, it is this: When the entire world community can get together, all 6.3 Billion of us, and eat some delicious bacon (I like mine crispy) the world will become a far better place.

Well, for everyone but the pigs. But the pigs must sacrifice for the greater good.

Sign The Petition!

The great folks at are fighting cronyism in the Bush Administration. I realize that the President is responsible for appointing people to certain positions, but come on! You have a ton of friends and people you owe, so start matching these people up! The latest joker is Stewart Simonson. Read more:

Simonson is Assistant Secretary for Public Health Emergency Preparedness at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). His job before joining HHS was as corporate secretary and counsel for Amtrak when Thompson was chief of the rail service. Prior to Amtrak, Simonson was staff lawyer for Thompson when he was governor of Wisconsin.

In short, he is not qualified for a public health job that hundreds of millions of people are counting on.

This isn't just a case of resume inflation. Simonson doesn't seem to have a grasp on the very important work he is supposed to be doing right now. At a hearing in the House of Representatives in July, Simonson claimed he had the money he needed to purchase influenza vaccine and antiviral medication. The very next day, his office submitted a funding request to Congress seeking an additional $150 million for flu vaccine and antiviral medication. Last month the Congress gave another $4 billion for the effort.

The Department of Health and Human Services is about to announce a new influenza plan. They need a highly qualified and respected professional at the helm when implementation of the plan begins. That is why it is urgent that Leavitt replace Simonson immediately. Why petition Leavitt? It is likely Leavitt will be more responsive than President Bush or even Congress. He wants a scandal-free campaign to prepare for a flu pandemic. Will you sign our petition to replace Simonson with somebody with expert credentials?

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

Happy (late) Columbus Day!

I don't know about you, but I celebrated in style! I went to the Native American family down the street from me, gave them each a disease, and stole their house.

What can I say? I'm a traditionalist.

Bill Bennett Update

I'm not going to place any bets (HA HA!) on whether or not Bennett is a racist. He tried to make a point to a caller, gambled and lost. (Last lame gambling reference, I promise) I will just go with what I do know. Bill Bennett's quote, in its entirety:

"If you wanted to reduce crime ... if that were your sole purpose, you could abort every black baby in this country, and your crime rate would go down." Bennett conceded that aborting all African-American babies "would be an impossible, ridiculous, and morally reprehensible thing to do," then added again, "but the crime rate would go down."

Bennett suffers from the right-wing affliction that blacks commit the most crime, which is not true. They are between 12 and 15 percent of the population, depending on the study or census you reference. Whites make up between 60 and 70 percent of the total arrests in this country, once again, depending on the reference. Granted, they (blacks) are a much larger percentage in prison and on parole, but that has to do with poverty and legal representation. So naturally, when a rich white guy makes an incredibly stupid analogy like Bennett did, it reinforces stereotypes, and that is the argument for racism, and its a good argument.

We do know that he is anti-abortion. His position on abortion is firm and unwavering. That being said, it takes 30 seconds to apologize for saying something that, if not racist, was incredibly stupid. But no, that would be too easy. Instead of owning up to a mistake, he chooses to defend himself with James "Donkey Love" Dobson! The following is from the October 5th broadcast of the Focus On The Family radio program:

DOBSON: Well, we only have about a minute or so left for this segment, but the other reason, I think, the left has reacted so viciously to you is that their own abortion movement is rooted in racism.

BENNETT: That's right.

DOBSON: You know, Margaret Sanger, the founder of Planned Parenthood, was a profound racist, and she saw abortion in the inner city as a way of limiting the birth rate. So, the people who support Planned Parenthood and come from that philosophy are now attacking you for saying something that was completely a non sequitur.

BENNETT: Yes, and I know this history, and I have reviewed it and read it, and this is the sort of thing, I think, that was probably in their minds on a conscious or subconscious level, that had something to do with the viciousness of the attack. In using this noxious hypothetical, I hit too close to what they believe, not what I believe.

If anyone's head just exploded, I apologize. Bennett makes quote, is called a racist, then calls the people that called him a racist racists.

Bennett scorecard: Anti-Abortion? Yes. Racist? Maybe. Retarded? Profoundly.

The Greatest Threat To America Today

I know a few people that voted for W because they felt that there would be at least 2 Supreme Court vacancies in the next 4 years, and they wanted Roe v. Wade overturned. Fair enough. But then I asked, "What are the other reasons you are voting for President Bush?" They didn't have any. Not a single one. Most don't even like the man, one even describing our commander-in-chief as a "smug, arrogant divider". But they got their wish (maybe) with the new court. And that, friends, was all that they wanted.

The one-issue voters are going to kill this country, folks. Tunnel vision on the one hot button issue of the day leads to one hot button issue politicians, and real change is impossible. I can prove it. I live it every day because I made my peace with the Democratic party.

If you have read this blog, you probably assumed that I was a bleeding heart liberal, and you are almost right. I am for corporate responsibility, a strong environmental policy, workers right to organize into a union, a balanced budget, a living wage for all, the repeal of tax breaks for Americans that have it all and don't deserve any more, and I am against the travesty in Iraq that has divided this country.

I am also against abortion on demand. It should only be available as a last resort for victims of rape and incest, and to save the life of the mother. I believe that women have reproductive rights, and they are available at any drug store, with or without a prescription. But with that comes responsibility. Face up to the consequences of your actions, and don't treat the fetus growing inside of you as an inconvenient medical problem.

I am also against all of my fellow Dems who have made this their only issue. They are destroying our party. But I have made my peace with them, for the sake of the country. I know that we have to work together for the greater good.

Monday, October 10, 2005

Seperated at birth!

Larry Flynt and Tony Blankley!

I Love Baseball In October
Let's do some quick math, shall we?

New York Yankees 2005 payroll: 203 Million Dollars
Kansas City Royals 2005 payroll: 36.9 Million Dollars

George Steinbrenner spent 166.1 million more dollars than David Glass, which is 33.2 million dollars for each of the five extra games that they played. And they lost 3 of those.

The "blond bitch" on Dayside is Juliet Huddy. See previous post for context, and I promise to do better research in the future. I was on a roll, similar to Limbaugh and Hannity on their radio shows. Don't Ride the Rollercoaster On Acid regrets the error.
Sorry for all of the fluff, but it just dominated today:

Some Rabbis Criticize New Madonna Song
Madonna gives 16th century rabbi a shout-out on her latest CD. A seminary named for this rabbi has called this a "great sin". Advice to Madonna: Show the rabbis your copies of the cancelled checks for all you have done for their religion. Then smile. This is known as the "Tom Delay Method".

Britney Spears Cancels Auction of Bra
Britney Spears' jewel encrusted bra was removed from an eBay auction. After bidding for the prized used undergarment reached $47,000.00, eBay removed the item, sighting their policy of not allowing the sale of used undergarments.

Hey now, "used undergarment" is a pretty subjective term. Just put the words "used undergarment" in front of "Britney Spears" and "Janet Reno" and you'll get the idea.

This Just In: The bra is back on the auction block! A spokesperson for eBay described the bra as "more of a collector's item". No shit. Note to the guy who buy's this "collector's item": Be careful when you masturbate, the bra is "jewel-encrusted".

Rove Denied to Bush He Engaged in Leak
WASHINGTON - Senior aide Karl Rove denied to President Bush that he engaged in an effort to disclose the identity of a covert CIA operative to discredit her husband's criticism of Iraq policy, say people familiar with Rove's statements in a criminal investigation.

Karl Rove and Tom Delay both have the same problem, and it is one of image. Maybe (HA!) neither one of them did anything wrong, maybe. But on any given day in our nation's capital, there are several piles of shit either created or dug up. Metaphorical piles of shit, but shit piles nonetheless. Also on any given day, either Rove or Delay is caught near one of these shit piles. They have been caught near random piles of shit several times throughout the years. Eventually, you are gonna get blamed for creating one of the piles!

I realize that I took the shit metaphor way, way to far. My apologies. I also realize that I did comments on Madonna and Britney back to back, but I can't be the only dude still thinking about that award show kiss, and hoping they will present again.

Yoko Ono Appears to Slight Paul McCartney
Yoko Ono picked up an award on behalf of John Lennon Monday and appeared to take a dig at his former bandmate, Paul McCartney.

Sorry, just a little more entertainment drivel. In a world with less and less job security, the position of "John Lennon's Widow" has been rather lucrative for almost 25 years now. Yoko, you have reached retirement age, so please, disappear already.

Quick side note: The award show was the Q awards in London. Oasis won for best album. Yoko should be more pissed at Oasis than at Paul McCartney. This shitty Beatle cover band has been around for over 10 years now.

Bill O'Reilly: Stop picking on me!
Poor Bill O'Reilly. He is tired of all the blogger assassins picking on him and the greatest thing to ever happen to commercial television, the O'Reilly Factor.

During a bizarre October 4 O'Reilly Factor segment devoted largely to attacking Media Matters, Bill O'Reilly whined:

"They won't put the -- when we had to book this segment, I couldn't get people to come on and say what you guys are saying, because they were afraid that Media Matters would go after them. They -- I couldn't -- I had people turn down this segment -- a bunch of them -- what are you, crazy? I'm going to criticize these assassins? They'll come after me. And that's a chilling effect."

Media matters CEO David Brock has repeatedly requested an appearance on the O'Reilly Factor to debate the merits of this topic. Fox News and the O'Reilly Factor have yet to respond, but in June 2003, Bill O'Reilly stated:

"If you attack someone publicly, as these men did to me, you have an obligation to face the person you are smearing. If you don't, you are a coward."

So, there you have it. Email Fox News and the O'Reilly Factor and make loofa boy practice what he preaches. A good subject line would be "Hey Falafel, are you a pussy?"

Guess Who Said It!
"Oil prices are starting to skyrocket, and as we discussed yesterday, the gasoline price is starting to head north. In many places it's up to $2.15 or higher, and of course I haven't changed my attitude about this from yesterday. It doesn't matter to me. I mean, as prices go higher my philosophy is go earn more money. It certainly makes more sense than to sit around griping about it, doesn't it? I mean, so many things are predictable here. You know that every spring or on the verge of every spring we're going to get stories about gasoline prices going up, and we know that the public is going to screech and howl and talk about how unfair it is and, "Oh, woe is us." And the media is going to start targeting the usual suspects, the evil, greedy oil companies, and, of course, our dependence on foreign oil."

You click on the link first, didn't you? If you've been paying any attention to politics for the last 13 or so years, you would know without cheating that the above quote is from America's favorite douchebag, Rush Limbaugh!

Rush is right, though! We can all be CEOs or radio talk show hosts if we just apply ourselves! Get fucking moving, lazy bastards!

Seriously, a business or corporation is only as good as the front line workers, and you get what you pay for. Look at Costco. Higher pay = less turnover = less theft and pilferage = high morale for the front line and for management. We all want to earn more, but the irresponsible companies will pay just enough to get and keep people. When wages get too high (in the opinion of shareholders or management) they will move production overseas.

We can't earn more, Rush. It would mean people at the top (like you) earning less. It would mean fairness in wages, including a living wage. It would mean a true team spirit, like the ones that Corporate America preaches on in their pathetic little rallies and seminars, but rarely practices when it comes to taking care of their employees. It will never happen, because of people like you.

Hey Bernie, Can I Help With Your Next Book?
Here's 50 more: Ann Coulter, Rush Limbaugh, Rich Lowry, Michelle Malkin, Sean Hannity, Bill O'Reilly, Neil Cavuto, that blond bitch on Dayside, Jonah Goldberg, George Will, Clarence Thomas, Antonin Scalia, Tom Delay, Rick Santorum, Katherine Harris, James Baker, Sam Brownback (please, let's keep him FAR AWAY on any issues involving immigration), George Will, Matt Drudge, Karl Rove (first ballotReich-wing HOF), Barry Goldwater (Emeritus Distinction. Is he still alive?) Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld,Ollie North, the Reverends Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, and Fred Phelps (That book you hold so dear has many, many chapters, not just the ones you made up on gays and abortion. Try reading it sometime), Bill Bennett, Glenn Beck, Brit Hume, John Gibson, Alan Colmes (fucking sellout), Greta VanSustren, Tony Blankley, G. Gordon Liddy, Chuck Colson, Brent Bozell, Phyllis Schlafly, Tucker Carlson, Bob "Bullshit" Novak, "Uncles" Armstrong and Walter Williams, David Horowitz, Cal Thomas, Pat Buchanan, Charles Krauthammer, Phill Kline (Kansas AG), Joe Scarborough, and George W.Bush.

Now, pick 50 liberals and write a balanced book. Or even better, pick 49 liberals and write yourself in at #37 for writing such an unbalanced piece of journalistic shit.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

I decided to finally write a blog. And once again, I am the last person to have one of these. My son, who is 14 and keeps my computer running nicely, has one. In my defense (also lame), I didn't own a CD player until early 1999. What was I going to do with all the goddamn cassette tapes?

Don't even ask about the DVD player. (OK, fine. Summer of '03. Still own WAY more VHS tapes.)

Anyway, I just had to make sure that this form of media was going to stick. Or something.

About the Title: Everything these days has a warning label of some sort. Do not operate heavy machinery, may be habit forming, may cause drowsiness, insomnia, diarrhea, constipation, etc. Everything has a warning label except for things that REALLY need it, especially the media. So, the title pays homage to misplaced warning labels and the death of common sense in this country. Be warned, there will be new ones torn here, but only if they really deserve it.

About the Author: Frustrated, angry, nervous, impatient, wanting a cigarette, wanting a drink, hungry, tired & seldom surprised by the absurdity of it all. Never all of these at once and seldom more than 3 at a time.

About the Font: Who gives a shit. I just starting seeing the "About the Font" and "About the Typeface" pages in books, and I thought it had to be a joke. But I can be as pretentious as the next guy, so:

The font being used in this weblog is called "default" because it is the one that assigns automatically if you decide not to pick a specific font. I find it to be both easy on the eyes but very professional in appearance. I will probably stick with this font because decided to assign it automatically, and I will defer to their sound judgment as they have been at this whole blog thing since 1999 and I just started tonight (10/07/2005).

Anyway, let's get started.