Tuesday, November 15, 2005

Christ, where to begin!

Let's start with a Republican having a lucid moment. Senator Chuck Hagel (R-NE) is calling on President Shrub to stop attacking critics of the Iraq disaster. Hagel even went as far as to say that members of Congress who fail to question the war could be responsible for another Vietnam.

The Republicans managed to avoid the first Vietnam, maybe they feel badly about it and want to involve themselves in a new one! As long as they don't have to actually fight, of course.

At least Congress get to enjoy a two week holiday vacation, after a late night session consisting of voting themselves a pay raise and a sham vote to pull out of Iraq. They really don't want to be the majority party anymore. After 10 years, maybe they are tired. Or maybe, just maybe, they know that they can get away with this partisan bullshit and still get elected.

I'm still wondering where we will go next. Syria? Iran? North Korea? If all of this was really about 9/11, Saudi Arabia would be a parking lot by now. But they are our friends, even after doing this on a regular basis.

Since we are never leaving Iraq or Afghanistan, can we fight a three-front war?

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Women Of The Fright, A Long Goddamn Flight & Election Night!

Everytime I read an Ann Coulter op-ed piece, after I finish my first thought is always, "This is a joke." This is usually followed by "She can't get any worse." She's not joking, and she's getting worse.

She is on a mission to promote Joe McCarthy to sainthood, after attempting to destroy Bill Clinton for getting a blow job. And Fox News has her on at least twice a week! Amazing...

Speaking of Fox News (and crazy bitches) Greta VanSustren is on the case for another missing rich white woman! Fox knows that all crime is committed against rich white women, and rich white women only! One final thought on Natalee Holloway: If you are a hot 18 year old girl drinking in a bar with strange men, the BEST thing that can happen to you is a raging, category 5 case of The Clap. Yes, that's the best thing. The worst thing is what probably happened to her. So naturally, Mom and Dad want to boycott Aruba. You raised an idiot; it's not an island's fault.

Listed under "Top Stories" on the AP wire: "Lost" loses another main character. The only reason this fucking show is as popular as it is is because the AP considers the loss of a main character a "top story". Still not setting TIVO to record it.

Young people don't care about politics or current events, right? They do in Hillsdale, Michigan. On Tuesday, 18-year old Michael Sessions was elected mayor as a write in candidate! And the best part, he beat an incumbent! These off year elections are putting a smile on my face. People are getting fed up in more places than Virginia and New Jersey. I can't wait for the mid-terms!

Boeing set a record today for the world's longest commercial flight. The 12,586 mile flight from Hong Kong to London Heathrow lasted 23 hours, forcing the showing of 5 movies and the serving of 3 meals, all of which were of "typical" airline quality (think about watching "Glitter" while eating Swiss Steak (Meatloaf?) at 35,000 feet in the air in a building that you can't leave).

And finally, the riots in France seem to be losing steam, a day after 3 new terrorist attacks in Amman, Jordan. This is all great for Fox News; they can focus on Jordan and France and skip over the 33 more dead in Iraq, mostly civilians (no Americans). You can always tell the people that watch Fox News and only Fox News: they are convinced that everything in the world is OK and moving in the right direction, despite evidence to the contrary.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

My apologies to the four people that read my blog. I've been a touch under the weather. But now I am back and...

GOD HAS SPOKEN!

A PASTOR in Texas has been killed by an electric shock after grabbing a microphone while performing a baptism in water.

Just a couple of things:

1. This happened in Waco, which is now officially the center of all things unholy. (Branch Davidian compound, W's Crawford ranch, Dr. Pepper was invented there, etc.)

2. Does Holy Water have to be reblessed after 110 volts of electricity shoot through it? Or is it 220 or more?